on couchetard

Though he couldn’t have possibly known it was coming, Michael Wolff’s post-Spitzer piece in this month’s VF about political men and their sexual downfall makes for smugly coincidental reading in the first sexy minute in Canadian politics since ooohh, Belinda chose an (unfortunately short-sighted) career opportunity over a potato-faced but powerful man. This is the minute of Mad Max and Julie, whom M-L-T deliciously nicknamed “Julie Couchetard”. Aaahmazing.

Wolff has a couple of theses going. Among them: the infidelity of the White middle-aged men (who dominate politics, obvs) exposes their characters as weak and pathetic brown-nosers of the derrieres of the young and well-endowed in a desperate attempt to disguise self-defining middle age. Because being weak and pathetic makes for a lousy leader image, the electorate is keen on the opposite of the White middle-aged man: Hilary or, and as was confirmed last night, Obama.

And he goes where I think I’ve gone before, egging leaders to open up and speak out about their kinks because between Facebook, the polipaparazzi and the Patriot Act, baby you have no where to hide. Better to be kinky and proud than caught with your pants down.

Wolff also blames women for ganging up en masse to make White male sexual depravity so unacceptable and, frankly, so little fun. Right muffin, we’re sorry about that. He counters with some irritating militant imagery: you know Obama isn’t depraved not because he is too damn physically fine to ever use interns/escorts to assert his sustainable architecture of gorgeousness but because Michelle Obama would whoop his ass if he ever stepped out of line. And by line we mean her first lady G string. (Sorry again but just what about Michelle Obama differentiates her from other reasonably gorg charismatic stylish powerhouse partners - besides her unreasonably gorg husband?)

Hmm.

There is no arguing. Couchetard whooped Mad Max’s ass. But she had gangs of bikers behind her. She had top secret file blackmail. And anyway Bernier wasn’t infidelous- HE BORED HER.

I definitely do not want to think about Harper having sex. But sex is apparently how political careers live and die. Are his zombie eyes immunity from the sex slanderous political arena of the over-surveyed era? Or can a kid dream?